


Come out of hiding (I'm right here beside you)

by pandoraspockz



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Soft Thasmin, pure fluff, set between Arachnids in the UK and The Tsuranga Conundrum, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 11:19:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandoraspockz/pseuds/pandoraspockz
Summary: Yaz goes wandering around the TARDIS one night and finds the Doctor in the library. During their conversation, she learns that the Time Lord hasn't been entirely honest with her companions.





	Come out of hiding (I'm right here beside you)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Okay, so I'm new here, and I mean brand new. Not just to writing for Doctor Who, but to the show and fandom in general; Thirteen is my first Doctor. I'm going back and watching the others, but I'm still learning and getting familiar with this universe, so I more than appreciate constructive criticism or corrections on any mistakes I make. Don't be shy or think that you're going to hurt my feelings, but please be kind.
> 
> Alright, first Doctor Who fic. This is gonna be fun!  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Massive thanks to my best friend and DW influencer for reading over this and offering her advice!

The TARDIS was quiet, much quieter than Yasmin was accustomed to most of the time. It seemed like there was always some kind of noise or another drifting throughout the various corridors of the time machine; most often coming from the control room and normally accompanied by the excited ramblings of the Doctor. Even in the more peaceful evenings, when the Doctor finally decided to get some rest, the various inner workings of the TARDIS would hum through the walls, creating a sort of lullaby to soothe its tenants into a peaceful sleep. Yaz had become so used to the constant noise that now its absence unnerved her.

She roamed through the halls, venturing deeper into the machine as she explored. Ryan and Graham were well off to bed at the current hour, but Yaz had found herself unable to sleep without the gentle thrumming to accompany her. She had no idea where the Doctor had wandered off to, finding the control room as empty and silent as the rest of her surroundings, so she’d set off on her own without aim and the hope of clearing her mind.

The lights along the corridors were dimmed, just bright enough that any midnight traveler would be able to find their way without stumbling about in the darkness. Yaz poked her head into a few of the rooms, finding a game room and what appeared to be a sort of spa, but mostly she just skimmed her hand along the wall as she let her feet carry her to nowhere in particular. 

She’d just turned what felt like her fiftieth corner when she noticed a sliver of light spilling out into the hallway from a door ahead. It was slightly ajar and she could see shadows flickering against the dim glow. Curiosity piqued, Yaz moved quietly forward, her socks whispering gently against the TARDIS floor, and peered into the room. She took note of the bookcases stuffed to the brim with volumes and knickknacks, the ornate fireplace that was the sources of the dancing shades against the walls, the plush and cozy furniture that surrounded it; but what drew her attention was the lone figure hunched forward on the couch, head bowed and a cup of tea in their hand as they stared deep into the burning grate.

“Doctor?” Yaz called timidly, cracking the door open a bit wider. She received no answer while the other woman continued to gaze into the fire without really seeing it, hair hanging heavy in front of her eyes. Yaz walked a little farther into the room, stopping a few feet from the couch so as not to startle her and quietly tried again.

“Doctor?”

The Doctor started as she was pulled from her thoughts and turned to face her companion. Her face relaxed into an easy smile, but Yaz noticed that it didn’t quite reach her eyes. In fact, the Doctor looked alarmingly exhausted and small curled up on the couch. Normally alight with energy, it was unnerving to see her so subdued, so unlike her usual self. It was almost like watching the stars disappear from the night sky.

“‘Lo, Yaz,” she murmured softly, shifting slightly to turn more towards her companion. Yaz wondered if she imagined the slight wince that crossed her features. “What are you doin’ up and about at this hour?” 

Yaz shrugged. “Oh, just exploring. Thought I’d try to get used to finding my way around.”

The Doctor’s eyebrow arched mischievously. “Well then, best you stay in the old girl’s good graces, yeah?”

“What do you mean?” Yaz asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Nothing to fret about. Best wait to cross that bridge should we come to it.”

The Doctor took a small sip from her tea, refusing to elaborate any further. Much as it irked her, something she suspected the other woman enjoyed doing, Yaz just shook her head and tried to let it go. Besides, she was much more interested in what had the Doctor sitting here in solitude with only pages and ink to keep her company.

“What about you? Why are you hanging out in here all by yourself?”

“Couldn’t sleep, I’m afraid,” the Doctor admitted.

“Do you ever?” Yaz teased.

The blonde chuckled and took another drink of her tea. “Course I do. Just don’t need nearly as much as humans seem to require. For a species that sleeps a third of their lives away, it’s amazin’ you lot get anything done at all, quite honestly.” 

Yasmin laughed good naturedly. “Suppose it’s just a cosmic design flaw.”

The Doctor chuckled, though her eyes still lacked the sparkle that Yaz was used to. “Far more strengths than flaws, though, I’d say.” Her eyes lingered on the young woman, watching her carefully, and Yaz felt herself squirm a bit under the scrutiny. 

“D’ya want to join me?” the Doctor asked, patting the spot next to her on the couch. Yaz nodded shyly and rounded to the front of the couch, curling one of her legs beneath her as she sat down in front of the fire. She made sure to leave some space between the two of them. Normally the Doctor was fairly affectionate, offering up hugs or a warm squeeze of the arm freely, but her current demeanor suggested that she was not feeling particularly in the mood for physical contact this evening. They fell back into silence, the only sound in the room the crackling of the fire. It reminded Yaz of why she had gone wandering around in the first place.

“Doctor, is there a reason the TARDIS is so quiet tonight?”

“Is it?” the Doctor asked, looking around as if searching for the answer. Yaz nodded. “I ‘spect she knew I’d appreciate the silence,” she shrugged, turning back toward the fire.

“What do you mean?” Yaz asked. “Did you power it down for the evening, since you’re not tinkering around with anything?” 

At that the Doctor gave a small snort into her tea. “I’d never hear the end of it if I even tried. I once forgot to replace a couple a’ light sensors and I couldn’t find my own bedroom for the better part of a week. Can’t imagine what would happen if I went and turned her off.”

She looked over to Yaz with a grin, but faltered slightly at the look of utter confusion on the young woman’s face. “Wait, did I not tell you? ‘Fraid I’m still a bit out of sorts, so a can’t quite remember what we ‘ave and ‘aven’t covered. ‘Course we ‘ave been a little preoccupied. Me fallin’ out of the sky, and then gettin’ stuck on Desolation, not to mention the giant spiders. Explainin’ the TARDIS to you lot must’ve fell right out of my mind and--”

“Doctor,” Yaz interrupted.

“Oh, sorry. Ramblin’ again,” the Doctor smiled sheepishly. “Got to work on tha’ I suppose."

Yaz smiled, used to the Doctor’s tangents by now. “It’s fine, just what do you mean by ‘explaining the TARDIS’?”

“Oh, well, y’see, she’s much more than just a machine,” the other woman explained. “She’s sentient, own consciousness and everythin’. Course, you’d think after all this time she’d at least listen to me, but got a right mind of her own most of the time.” 

“Wait, are you saying that the TARDIS is alive?!” 

“Exactly!” the Doctor confirmed, pleased that Yaz had caught on quickly enough. “Fairly easy going, though she can be quite cheeky if she doesn’t take a liking to you right off.” 

“Cheeky how?” Yaz asked, seeming concerned.

“Oh no, nothing to be worried about. Just don’t be surprised if things…shift around a bit from time to time.” 

“Shift around…? You mean the rooms…so, when you said you couldn’t find yours for almost a week you meant…” Yaz trailed off, comprehension dawning on her,

The Doctor nodded. “Like I said, cheeky.”

“Well. Okay then,” Yaz blinked, processing what she’d just learned. “I’ll make sure I stay on her good side.” She turned back to face the Doctor, returning to her original question. “But then what did you mean by she knew you’d appreciate the quiet? Is everything alright?”

The Doctor opened her mouth to brush off Yaz’s concerns, to assure her that she was just fine; nothing she couldn’t handle, but she closed it again at the look of worry on the girl’s face. With a heavy sigh, she dropped her head forward. “No.” she admitted quietly. “No, I’m afraid not.”

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

The Doctor looked up into Yaz’s concerned eyes. She’d hoped to keep this from her, from all three of her companions. She didn’t want them bothered with her while there were other people that needed help. She would be fine. Eventually. However, she wasn’t fine, and it had only been a matter of time before they realized something was off, that she wasn’t quite herself. She set her tea down on the table beside the couch and turned toward Yaz with a grim expression. 

“Yaz, d’you remember when we first met? And I mentioned that I used to be a white-haired Scotsman?” she began. Yaz nodded, encouraging her to continue. “So, when a Time Lord is about to die, we have a little trick. Helps prolong our life. It’s called regeneration.” She waited a moment to make sure Yaz was following and then went on. “Basically, my body releases a massive amount of energy that rewrites my entire system. It changes everything: my appearance, my personality, likes, dislikes. I become a whole new person.”

“Is it painful?” Yaz whispered, eyes wide.

The Doctor didn’t answer right away and Yaz was worried that she’d overstepped. The Doctor was still a mysterious figure to them, but more than willing to answer their questions and tell them about her past. However, they’d made sure to keep away from anything too personal, not wanting to upset her or lose the trust that they’d developed within the group. She was about to retract her question, apologize for her lack of sensitivity, when she heard the other woman speak.

“Yes. It is painful.” Her voice was strained and quiet, her eyes gazing into the distance again. Yaz wanted to tell her that it was okay, that she didn’t need to know, but the Doctor continued. “It’s like every cell in my body explodes and then has to reform. In the moment, it’s nearly unbearable, like bein’ ripped in half from the inside out.”

Yaz’s brow furrowed, trying but unable to imagine what that kind of pain must feel like. “And now?” she asked. “Does it still hurt once you’ve got your new body?” 

The Doctor hesitated again, her lips pressing into a thin line. “It shouldn’t,” she muttered, looking back toward the fire. 

“Shouldn’t,” Yaz repeated quietly. “But it does.” 

It wasn’t a question. Not for the first time, the Doctor admired how observant the young woman was.

“Once I’ve got my new body,” she explained. “The regeneration energy is still runnin’ through me, pullin’ everything back together. Like bein’ stitched back together with a million dull needles all at once. It takes time and rest to fully recover.” 

Yaz looked at her with sympathy as she understood what the Doctor was saying. “And you didn’t get the proper amount of rest,” she supplied. The other woman shook her head. “So, you’ve been in terrible pain this entire time and you haven’t bothered to say anything?”

The Doctor tilted her head toward Yaz, as if to play it off as nothing. “People needed savin’, luv. Time and tide wait for no man, right? Or woman, actually, in this case, I suppose. Anyway, small price to pay in the end.”

“And now?” Yaz ventured gently. “How are you feeling now?”

“Like a baby stuck in a rosebush,” the Doctor replied with a wince. “Little thorns pressin’ in on all my joints and muscles every time I move.”

“I’m so sorry,” Yaz shook her head with worry. “Is there anything I get you, anything I can do to help?” 

“You’re helpin’ enough just by sittin’ with me,” the Doctor smiled. “Talking, havin’ you here, takes my mind off of it, yeah?” She reached out and grabbed Yaz’s hand, her smile widening. “Though I can’t say I’m too excited about the distance.” 

She gave a small tug and pulled a blushing Yaz toward her, tucking the girl into her side as she draped an arm around her shoulders. Yaz slipped her arms around the Doctor’s middle and rested her head in the curve of the blonde’s neck. “I’m glad I can help you feel better,” she murmured.

The Doctor turned and rested her forehead gently against Yaz’s temple. “You always help me feel better, Yasmin Khan,” she whispered, pressing her lips to the waves of dark hair. They remained like that in front of the fire, the warmth of their embrace eventually lulling them both to sleep.

Meanwhile, somewhere down the dark corridors of the TARDIS, a bit of a rearrangement was in order. Though she would initially be frustrated in the morning, pacing up and down the hallway where she was certain her door had just been the night before, Yaz couldn’t be too upset when she eventually found her residence relocated right next to the Doctor’s own bedroom. With a smile, she gave the wall of the TARDIS a gentle pat of thanks and headed toward the control room to see what new adventure awaited them that day.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @pandora-spockz over on Tumblr, so feel free to come say hi and fangirl with me!


End file.
